Out of the Classroom and Into Your Marriage

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/9b/1d/8e/9b1d8e75fdacf945c8899a3bcfe76833--mother-in-law-quotes-in-laws-quotes.jpg Sadly, in our society in-laws tend to get a bad rap. Everything from movies, television programs, newspaper cartoons, books, magazine articles, social media rants, and memes, surround us with degraded in-law images. Why is this so? I think, in part, when a new family forms from the marriage of a man and a woman, the automatic transfer of primary affections can cause some people to experience highly charged emotions. If in-laws are not careful, they could start overstepping their bounds, thereby interfering rather than supporting the new addition to their family unit. This week, we studied information from Marriage and Family therapist, James M. Harper, and associate director of the School of Family Life, Susanne Frost Olsen. Together, they outlined 4 key principles in-laws and newly married couples can follow to help rather than hinder the formation and permanency of th...

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/14/8d/fa/148dfa06189e0e79cdd05bbe0c3f62e7--scripture-mastery-scripture-quotes.jpg             Power and control are two of the most potent influences any person can have over others. For many, people in powerful and/or controlling positions can strike fear into their hearts, whereas for others, the ability to possess such influence is something they aspire to. However, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Lord has clarified exactly how these influences should be used as well as the type of mindset and state of heart the user must have to avoid unrighteous dominion. He who has ultimate power and control over the universe is The One who loves and serves more than anyone else. Truly, righteous power and control is one of the most Christlike abilities Heavenly Father’s children can show to each other. In truth, this righteousness should be most prevalent within the walls of our homes. ...

http://quotepixel.com/images/quotes/love/love-quotes_3110-1.png Within marriage, physical intimacy serves many purposes. From bringing children into the world to strengthening the bond between husband and wife, this sacred aspect of marital union can experience struggles leading to frustrations just like any other aspect of family life. To help couples work through these difficult yet important issues, state extension family life specialist PhD Sean E. Brotherson outlines several pitfalls in his article “ Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage .” Out of all he teaches, I will highlight the three points I found most fundamental; ignorance, inhibition, and ill will. To begin, Brotherson highlights the huge toll ignorance can take between spouses. He says, “I am convinced that ignorance is perhaps the most costly deficiency when it comes to sexual fulfillment between marital partners. A failure to understand your own body, your partner's responses, and the essential in...

https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/f/friedrichnietzsche/105341/friedrichnietzsche1-2x.jpg A path and a goal; they are different, but what’s the big deal? In marriage, the path is what each spouse chooses to do each day, whether alone or together. The goal is to live together forever as an eternal family unit. By comparing one to the other, it may be a little easier to see why some conflict in marriage can lead to what John Gottman describes as gridlock; or in other words, perpetual disagreements a couple cannot effectively accommodate (Gottman & Silver, 2015). These gridlock issues are caused when each spouse holds stubbornly to their chosen path rather than stepping back and evaluating the goal together.  Thankfully, Gottman does not leave us hanging when it comes to figuring out what our gridlock issues are and what we can do about them. To begin, let’s look at how to tell if a perpetual conflict has become gridlocked. 1. You’ve had the same argument ag...

Over 20 years ago, Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the First Quorum of the Seventy told the story of a bride who sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” (Ensign, 1996). How true this story rings for those of us who are married! We may not struggle with the same troubles we faced while single, nevertheless, our trials are far from over. John Gottman explains that there are two types of conflicts in marriage – solvable and perpetual. According to his research, 69% of all conflicts are perpetual, meaning, they will never be solved. Year after year, these annoyances will be a source of contention time and again. On the other hand, solvable conflicts are situational, meaning they can be worked around with a little bit of imagination and some give-and-take from both spouses. However, just because couples have perpetual problems doesn’t mean they cannot be happily married. Furthermore, just because couples have ...

https://img1.etsystatic.com/181/0/9690679/il_340x270.1314847441_brf3.jpg In the April 1989 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Ezra Taft Benson delivered one of the most famous talks of all time. His address:  Beware of Pride  has echoed through congregations of the church around the world and is just as applicable now, nearly 30 years later, as when it was first given; and, will undoubtedly prove timeless. Pride, a universal sin, poisons and weakens every relationship it touches. However, with Satan intent on destroying marriages and family bonds, pride must be vigilantly guarded against in, and through, and around, everything relating to home life. It is worth delving deep into President Benson’s talk to get a clearer understanding of how stealth-like pride can creep into one’s marriage. Let’s begin by highlighting key points and discussing their application to marriage. Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are ...

http://izquotes.com/quote/298129 When love is budding in its earliest stages, a couple may feel like the last thing they can do is resist each other. They may feel an almost palpable magnetism towards one other, and that while in each other’s presence, the sun shines a little warmer, troubles seem to fade, joy is found in the mundane, and life is bursting with meaning. If only this phase could last forever! However, as most of us know firsthand, just as the sun sets to let the dark sky rule the night, those intensely burning flames of new love gradually dim to a subtle warm glow. The lifelong challenge of married couples is to keep this glow alive by not allowing it to extinguish completely. With skyrocketing divorce rates, rampant infidelity, and general marital dissatisfaction, some may fear that “growing apart” will be an inevitable path they and their spouse will face. Although they were once intensely drawn toward each other, they may worry that in time this magnetism wil...