Out of the Classroom and Into Your Marriage

http://izquotes.com/quote/298129 When love is budding in its earliest stages, a couple may feel like the last thing they can do is resist each other. They may feel an almost palpable magnetism towards one other, and that while in each other’s presence, the sun shines a little warmer, troubles seem to fade, joy is found in the mundane, and life is bursting with meaning. If only this phase could last forever! However, as most of us know firsthand, just as the sun sets to let the dark sky rule the night, those intensely burning flames of new love gradually dim to a subtle warm glow. The lifelong challenge of married couples is to keep this glow alive by not allowing it to extinguish completely. With skyrocketing divorce rates, rampant infidelity, and general marital dissatisfaction, some may fear that “growing apart” will be an inevitable path they and their spouse will face. Although they were once intensely drawn toward each other, they may worry that in time this magnetism wil...

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/139822763401062010/ Over the last 5 weeks, I have blogged exclusively on various ways marriages fail and weaken as well as society and the adversary’s attacks on marriages and families in our present day. Although some may wish to be like an ostrich with their head in the sand, no good comes from choosing ignorance. Nevertheless, we must exercise caution when dealing with negatives, for, focusing on the downside alone is not wise either. Thankfully, this week we will start to look on the brighter side of marriage. To begin, I would like to introduce you to John Gottman’s concept of the “love map” (Gottman & Sliver, 2015, p. 54). However, before diving into my message, I would like to start off with an allegory shared by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD in his book entitled, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, (2009) that will help set the stage for our understanding and application of the love map. He shares: A man … had two friends in the manufa...

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/preparing.html Now, in a marriage blog, what kind of war are we talking about here? War with one’s spouse, or in-laws, or the next-door neighbors? No, to be sure, the only war worth preparing for is the war that will try to rip your marriage to shreds, wound all people connected to each spouse including – no, especially – the children. This war is the war on families; your family specifically. How precious is your marriage to you? To what lengths and under what pressure are you willing to prepare for and fight off this enemy of destruction? If you are sitting there a little nerve-wracked, looking like a deer in the headlights without any idea where to begin, take courage, we’ve got expert advice from Dr. John Gottman, the Commander in Chief of the Institution of Marriage Worldwide. In all honesty, that isn’t his official title no matter how much I think it should be. Nevertheless, he knows what he is talking about. After studying couple...

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jeandelabr380158.html Dear Couples of the Modern World, If we were to tell you the phrase, “Till death do you part,” need not be the end of your marriage, would you believe us? Chances are many, if not most of you would reply, “That would take a miracle!” And, you would be right. Of course, we are not claiming that marriage for all time and eternity would come easy, or be the result of someone waiving a magic wand and chanting a spell. No, we would wager to say that unrealistic expectations are accountable for most failed marriages in our fast-food, instant gratification, get-rich-quick society. As our friend Jean de la Bruyere wisely observes, miracles spring from difficulties. And he should know, right? After all, he is not only a philosopher, but a French philosopher hailing from France, the land of love itself! But, what if we let you in on a secret that really should not remain a secret? Here it is… eternal marriage does n...