Week 02 Marriage Trends: Divorce

President Spencer W. Kimball declared, “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (Ensign, 1980).
This quote gives me much to ponder on. What family-supporting social restraints are dissolving? And, how can one believe deeply and actively in the family in defense of this gathering evil he talks about? No doubt, there are many ideas and theories that will try to answer these questions. Thankfully, the information presented this week in class clearly outlined trends to beware of as well as safeguards we can take to preserve our homes and protect our children.
To begin, some social restraints that are dissolving and disappearing are social disapproval of cohabitation, bearing children out of wedlock, and the ease of divorce. The booklet State of Our Unions published by The National Marriage Project (2012), highlights several disadvantages to children who are born or raised in cohabitating environments. These problems include instability, challenges socially, educationally, and psychologically as well as physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
In addition, Elder Dallin H. Oaks clearly stated, “Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims. Scholars of family life tell us that the most important cause of the current decline in the well-being of children is the current weakening of marriage, because family instability decreases parental investment in children. We know that children raised in a single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization” (Ensign, 2007).
To me, it appears that the underlying issue for the disintegration of the family is selfishness. People cohabitate because they want companionship in an easy form. This attitude often leads people towards lifestyles that bring children into the world without married parents. Finally, even when people do marry, if a time comes when they do not feel personally satisfied anymore, they may selfishly resort to the easy-out and get a divorce. What is to be done?
Thankfully, there are solutions to such problems. Elder Oaks goes on to suggest ways a couple can strengthen their marriage. His points include letting go of past wrongs, forgiving, praying for the Spirit to help overcome faults, pray as a couple together for healing, draw closer to the Savior, keep the commandments, attend church, and study the scriptures.
However, letting go of selfishness and embracing the teachings of Jesus Christ may only be a start. In my experience, I have seen how far a gulf can lie between knowing and doing, or knowledge and conversion. Learning and believing can only take a person so far. The real, life changing force comes when that knowledge influences what we do daily.
I want to leave you with some points to ponder.
1. What are you holding onto that is weighing your marriage down? Consider letting this go and pray for strength to replace that issue with compassion.
2. How can you and your spouse practice living the gospel together?
3. What elements of family life can you move from knowledge to conversion? How will this manifest in your daily actions?
References
Kimball, S.W. (1980). Families Can Be Eternal. Ensign. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1980/10/families-can-be-eternal?lang=eng
Oaks, D.H. (2007). Divorce. Ensign. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng
The National Marriage Project. (2012). State of Our Unions. http://stateofourunions.org/2012/SOOU2012.pdf
Images
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